It is a "hedonistic debauched lifestyle"

I love interviewing people and asking them questions. I'm a pretty good listener, if you ask me.  If I could go back and do it again, I might have chosen to be a journalist, a writer, a filmmaker. But it's never too late, right?  Well, a few nights ago I brought out a small hand-held camera and went around asking people what their favorite part about Salamanca was, why they chose to study here, and how they would describe their experience so far.

My favorite response, and I think most honest response, was from my friend Rob, who teaches English classes at a local school.  He said we are living a "hedonistic debauched lifestyle." I had to look up what these words meant, and here is what I found (according to the dictionary on my Mac).

• Hedonistic (adj): the pursuit of pleasure; sensual self-indulgence.
• The ethical theory that pleasure (in the sense of the satisfaction of desires) is the highest good and proper aim of human life.
• Similar words: indulgent, pleasure-seeking, sybaritic, lotus-eating,epicurean, good-time; unrestrained, intemperate,immoderate, extravagant, decadent.
• Debauched (adj): indulging in or characterized by sensual pleasure to a degree percieved to be morally harmful; dissolute: a debauched lifestyle. 
• Similar words: dissolute,dissipated, degenerate, corrupt, depraved, sinful, unprincipled, immoral; lascivious, lecherous, lewd, lustful, libidinous, licentious, promiscuous, loose,wanton, abandoned; decadent, profligate,intemperate, sybaritic. ANTONYMS wholesome.

That we are living morally harmful lives of self-indulgence is a bit extreme.  But in a way, it's right on.  This year abroad is for me to learn Spanish; it is a year to travel and see Europe; it is a year to figure out what I want to do after I graduate from DU in a year.  That is hedonistic, if you ask me.  Completely selfish and self-fulfilling, I have stopped feeling "guilty" about not living a productive, hard-working lifestyle as I did back in Denver because I realize that --THIS IS TEMPORARY-- and soon enough this year will be like a dream, a memory, behind me.  And I am hard working in other ways, to be fair.  But I will leave here on May 18 and end this chapter in my life, and I will not have any regrets.  

That our experiences and our lives here are defined as "debauched" has a negative, critical connotation.  Sinful, corrupt, lewd: we are young, we are independent, we are free.  And man, we are living it up while we can.  We are all fighting to figure out who we are, what we want to be, where we want to go, how we want to live our one and precious life. So we make mistakes, we stay up too late, and do things we probably shouldn't do. We are self-destructive, but when we hit rock bottom that's when we figure out who we really are.  


So maybe it's a hedonistic debauched lifestyle, but I'm learning, I'm growing, I'm living, and I'm happy.

Paris with Lauren, November 2011